Archive for April, 2007

30
Apr

Mastermind Moment: Live, Learn, Love, Laugh, Lament

“First you have to live, learn, love and laugh before you can lament.” - John-ism

I met John at a recent event that was a gathering of leaders in his industry. He called these the 5 L’s of life. His philosophy is that BEFORE you can lament (grief, mourn or cry in sorrow) you first must LIVE, LEARN, LOVE and LAUGH.

The saddest thing, according to John, is that there are people LAMENTING life and they have not even tried to LIVE, LEARN LOVE or LAUGH.

So, as we start this Monday morning — are you Mister or Miss Woe is Me? Are you having a poor pitiful me Monday or are you looking for opportunities to LIVE, LEARN, LOVE and LAUGH?

Stay away from waiting for everything to be perfect before you start. To any degree, just START and live, learn, love and laugh.

I wish you a week with lots of opportunities to live, learn, love and laugh!

Connect with the champion in you -

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching and Connections: Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management

25
Apr

Buzz2Bucks: Speak Edibly

Have you ever come across anyone that speaks with “commission breath”? You know the person. Come on! Someone just hopped into your mind. It’s the person that you share good news with and they say, “well here’s how you can support me in this”, or “now you can afford to buy this from me.” It’s the person that is always “hunting” for that opportunity to talk about and look for things for THEM.

A friend of mine reminded me of the movie “Beaches” in which Bette Midler says, “I’ve just used our time talking all about me. Now, it’s your turn. Tell me what you think about me?”

Another way people “rot their communication” is by adding sarcasm.  Primarily,you will see this behavior in your “A” personalities or “drivers”.  They’ll give a compliment such as, Thanks for shopping with us and then follow that with, you know you better!  Or, they’ll say “glad you made it - it’s about time!”  There’s always something there to SOUR the compliment.

For you, do you speak edibly?

1.  What was the last compliment you gave?  Did you sour any of the words?  Did you let the recipient bask in the limelight or did you litter their moment with stories about you, remembrances from you (you know - you walked 5 miles in the snow, up hill both ways, with no shoes, etc).

2.  Did you listen with the intent of valuing that person for who they are?  Or where you listening for a moment to get in your personal promotion or your commercial?

If you’re not sure, then it’s time you do a 360 degree feedback.  They’ll give you the honest insight into what people REALLY say and think about you.  Keep in mind - perception is reality!

Connect to the champion in you-

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching & Connections:  Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management 

25
Apr

Event Review: Crystal Ball

Saturday night the Petroleum Club hosted the Permian Basin’s party of all parties, “The Crystal Ball”. This black tie, evening gown affair had supporters braving the limos and traffic of prom for this worthy and enjoyable event.

From the silent auction to the live auction, the generosity of participants was evident. J.H. was the first to start “giving back” an item that he won in the live auction to “resell it and auction it again”. Soon, the room was involved and even the H.E.B. team was able to raise an additional $11,300 for the High Sky Children’s ranch by giving every item “back” (they always have yet have done this silently in the past at the end of the event). By giving back during the event, other participants were able to bid on the item thus raising more funds.

The Crystal Ball is one of my most favorite events in the year. And, it’s really not the “dressing up” nor is it the tasty food and it’s not even the fun dance band (which unfortunately fell dramatically short on its performance this year - I’ll give them a D+ but more on that later.) It’s the way the staff and the board of directors and the numerous volunteers of High Sky treat you.

In several posts on this blog, I’ve cited Maya Angelou’s phrase, “People won’t remember what you did, they’ll not even remember what you said but they’ll always remember the way you made them feel.” So very true for the Crystal Ball –it’s foundational!

I’ve attended several black tie and formal events. Some at even “prime venues” in the Basin such as Midland Country club. Unfortunately, while the speaker and the food were great, the event “fell short” because the staff was too busy “working and not hosting to their guests” and the board of directors never moved from their chairs nor ventured further than their table.

From Jackie Carter to Joan Bohannon from Cheryl Albin to Mitch Malouf each staff member, board member and volunteer of the High Sky Ranch made you feel “welcomed”, “appreciated”, “valued” and “included”. That alone, makes this event, a WOW every year.

Here’s what made it great:

1. EVERYONE - from the top down, from side to side, and all the way across, everyone made you feel welcome and appreciated.

This is MONUMENTAL! I can count on one hand how many annual events in the Basin make you feel this way. Someday, I hope the count takes up both my hands and all my toes. Jackie, Joan and the entire board of directors, I believe, visited every table -hugged on every guest and spent their entire time, not running around like crazy people, not huddled around a table amongst themselves sharing “insider stories”, but out amongst the guests - all the guests (not just the key note speaker or those they deemed “special guests”).

2. ELEGANT AND WELL PLANNED.

Not only the guest were dressed up, even the volunteers and the staff. You were amongst friends and colleagues.

3. THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR NEVER SPOKE - - THE VOLUNTEER LEADERSHIP DID.

This is key. The Executive Director waived and showed she was there (who could miss her - she was making everyone feel welcome at every table). But, the speeches and the gratitude from the “stage” were from the volunteer leaders. As a former fundraiser, here’s a hint to Executive Directors — these events are the times when you “park your ego” if you really want to engage everyone. Keep in mind volunteers actually volunteer that which is most dear to them, their hearts and minds! So, this is a moment they can “shine” in front of their peers. Yes, even they can hand out awards - it does not have to be “you” being the “face” of the organization. In fact, it’s best when they can see their friends and families at work!

4. THE VOLUNTEERS MADE EVERYONE FEEL SPECIAL AND THE FACILITIES STAFF ALSO MADE EVERYONE FEEL SPECIAL.

I really don’t know who trained the Petroleum Club staff for this event but here’s kudos to them. They acted like this was their event (which in some ways - it was)! They didn’t act like they were thinking “look at those people renting the place having their event”. They acted like, “let’s take care of our guests”. Great job!

What didn’t work:

1. The event has grown tremendously and so the ability to create “kinship” and for people to see people and be seen is compromised. I love the Petroleum Club - it’s just not big enough. May be working over the schematics one more time might create the space along with the closeness. This was a challenge for the dancing. One literally had to leave from the middle of the ballroom, go to the middle area, go down the stairs and around the stairs to hit the dance floor - by then, it was the end of the song. Logistically, the layout has to be redone. Relationship building will carry you very, very far but you still have to provide a great service/event or you’ll strain the relationship.

2. The band has got to go. Someone either didn’t practice or was new but the band was totally off key and off timing. What a shame since they were fabulous the year before! Did someone not practice? Was someone new and the harmony was off? They belted out absolutely the worst rendition of George Strait’s “Amarillo by Morning” and “Super Freak” was more than freaky! Not only that, they threw beads at party goers (New Orleans type beads) but since the stage was much higher up they were pelting people on the head with significant force (gravity at work!) The only singer that sounded awesome was “Albert” and he’s a local who did his rendition of “My Girl” which was beautiful! However, his talent made the band’s lack of talent (or practice) even more evident. Again, good service and a good quality event will keep your connections happy. If you rely on the relationship too much and provide a shoddy performance, someone will eventually say - enough.

Overall, great event! Landslides and a ticker tape parade of “buzz points”. It was a banner event!

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching and Connections: Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management

24
Apr

Newest Article: Multicultural Inclusion

Read the newest article from THE NATIONAL NETWORKER featuring  West Texas’ own, Coach Maria Elena.

24
Apr

Mastermind Moment: And Assumptions

“Why does it have to be either or, why not and?”- Harold-ism

There are assumptions that just because you believe or support one thing that you cannot possibly believe or support another. Where does this assumption come from?

My husband was recently volunteering at an event. The gentleman next to him said something in support of our local police chief. My husband happily agreed and shared that he too, liked and appreciated our local police chief. This man took this as “a sign” that he could now bad-mouth our city manager since my husband had revealed that he likes and appreciates our local chief.

Bad move and HUGE assumption! Just because we like and support one what keeps us from liking and supporting another? Who put the rules in that if you like one you must not like another?

I think the guy got an earful because he didn’t utter a peep the rest of the event. A lesson in assumptions - they’re never good because you sit the the “judge’s chair” and who - really, who likes to be judged? By anyone?

Happy Monday! Connect with the champion in you -

Coach Maria Elena AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching & Connections: Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management.

20
Apr

AskMariaElena! Speaking To The Driver

“How do you speak to someone who is a “driver” (or A-personality, dominant) - Laura

Laura, sometimes this personality is also referred to as the “I, Me, Mine” style. Whatever you “label” the style the intensity of their personality and community depend on the combination of other factors in their personality.

And, I always encourage utilizing probative questions to ensure that your assessment in their personality is “right on” as opposed to an assumption, judgment or stereotype.

The tendency is to be independent, wanting recognition for their own ideas, control of their own activity or work, opportunities to prove him or herself, and wants to solve problems in his/her way.

There’s also a need to see the big picture. Someone like this enjoys individual competition and likes to win. There’s also a great chance they are money focused because money buys control, power and independence.

So, here are some communication tips for this “style”. Meet them in their office. They like to be control of their environment and surroundings so the local coffee shop will not be their favorite place. They like to be in charge and lead the conversation. Do that and plant things to cover or even better, challenge them to take on different areas or ideas. Get use to the fact that they will speak about “what’s in it for them” and humor that comes in the form of sarcasm or criticism.

Sometimes all it takes to make a conversation “better” is for you to know your personality style and how it is affected by someone else’s style and “park your personality” so that you can really hear them and be heard by them.

Have a great weekend, Laura!

Connect to the champion in you -

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching & Connections: Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management

19
Apr

Audio: The Generational Divide

18
Apr

thebuzz101: Public and Private

“Praise In Public; Reprimand In Private”

Have you ever heard of this?  If you haven’t, this is a nice easy “saying” to take to heart.

Recently, I spoke at a women’s group meeting.  A lady involved in direct cosmetic sales (and who I already knew) was there and approached me as I walked into the event.  Right behind her followed another lady whom I had not met before.  The lady, in cosmetic sales, starts to share how she saw me on television that Thursday morning.  The other lady listens along to her story.  The cosmetic lady now starts to share that “I (Coach Maria Elena) have a horrible milk mustache when I’m on television” and then shares “that everyone on television has what appears to be this “milk mustache” because we put our make up on too light above our lips”.  Then, she starts directing “you better tell your cosmetic consultant, J.F., to help you fix your face and tell her to go darker on your makeup and tell here to get you some of that wrinkle creme for above your lip if you’re worried about going darker for wrinkles and…..”

WOW! All of this as I walked into the room.  Heaven forbid that I wanted to make a good impression to this other lady I didn’t know or that may be I wanted to be “psyched” and ready to give my speech.  She poured like a volcano, or maybe spewed more like vomit, this criticism and advice, then more criticism then more advice - she was relentless.

Remember a few months ago, I quoted Maya Angelou’s saying about how “people will always remember how you make them feel”.  Ouch - I’ll always remember “this one”.  May I never refer business her way and may Miss Manners bless her with some sense!

Her behavior reminded me also of another saying that I learned as a young manager at a fairly large retail establishment:

“Praise in public - reprimand in private”

Remember, your customers, your prospective clients your associates do not want to “hear” you reprimand someone.  When you go to the store, do you want to hear the manager scolding his associate?  NO!  You went there to buy something, not for the drama.

Praise in public because we do want to hear the good things, join in on the celebration and know what “doing good” looks like.

Maybe she did what she did because she was trying to “set her up as an expert” and don’t you just hate when people “step on other people” to do that?

How about you?  Are you tootin’ your horn without blowing it or do you suffer from “commission breath”?  Take a mint and chill.

Connect to the champion within you -

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching & Connections: Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management 

17
Apr

Buzz2Bucks: Achieve Versus Impede

Sometimes you must upgrade the relationships in your life to pro-actively surround yourself with people who will help you achieve the life you want rather than impede the progress.

This is not saying that you only hang out with people who can do something for you or help you get ahead yet it does mean that you take a good strong look at who you know and who you spend time with to see if they are “taking away from you” or “getting in the way” of you achieving your life goals.

There are some people you will connect with who can stand beside you and be a support, compliment your strengths and create a synergy. There are those that will “leech” on to you and drain you. There is a great difference in being “needed” and associating with those who are “needy”. And, while “users” can come dressed in “sheep’s clothing” (I know this from personal experience!), their true intentions, over time, will reveal themselves. Hopefully, you’ll get really good at seeing what you are putting up with and realize that you do not have to tolerate their behavior or neediness.

Do you have:

1. Friends or connections (even family members) who criticize and judge you always? Often their statements start with “here’s what you should do.

I had a “friend” like this who really had a goal of possessing something I had. She would want to meet weekly and drone for three to four hours at the Barnes & Noble cafe about her plans, her problems, her needs and then drone just as long telling me what I should do and what HER great plans for MY life were. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize anything until she had everything she wanted. Now, it’s been almost a year since she even takes a moment to say anything to me. She’s done using me, can’t get anything else from me - now she’s on to the next “victim”. I speak from experience when I see be a “victor” not a “victim”. YOU are better than ANYBODY no matter what lies they tell you!

2. People who take you for granted?

3. People who manipulate?

4. People who “expect” things from you - feel you owe them?

Rid yourself of these people! It’s time to do some “spring cleaning” for your mental health and successful well-being.

Connect with the champion in you -

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching & Connections: Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management.

16
Apr

Mastermind Moment: Hearing and Seeing

“People HEAR what they SEE.” - Gaylia-ism

There is not a one of us that does not have to deal with people to accomplish things.  From shopping at the grocery store to starting a home based business to running a department, we ALL deal with other people.  No wonder communication is so very important in all that we do!

How are your communication skills?  Is your message truly received?  Or, do you just deliver it with your own style and grace (or lack of) and expect others to do all the work in connecting the dots to your “real meaning”?

People HEAR what they SEE.  How profound!  Think of that for a moment.  Have you ever played the game where someone says put your hand on your chin and the visual they give is them placing their hand on their cheek - and don’t you follow suit?    Ever “tell your kids” to do something and you do something different and they DO what you DO?  Ever hear anyone say “trust me” and everything that you see them doing screams “do not trust them”?

People HEAR what they SEE.  So, what do they see when the SEE YOU?

Awareness, is ALWAYS the first step……..Good Monday morning!

Connect with the champion in you -

Coach Maria Elena Duron AKA The Champion of Connections

Buzz To Bucks Coaching & Connections - Personal Brand Coaching for Leadership, Career and Image Management. 




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